What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
