everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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