I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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