i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
