She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
