Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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