you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
