I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
