Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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