escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
