I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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