so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
