I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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