Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
