doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
