Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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