They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
