hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize