lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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