i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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