I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
