so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
