So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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