Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
