just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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