There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
