She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
