I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize