I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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