why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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