Christians are straight up FREAKS
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
