ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
