rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
