He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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