I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
