just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
