i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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