love makes seman taste better
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
