whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
