I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize