i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
