shes about as inviting as chlamydia
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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