So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize