Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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