All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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