Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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