maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
