break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it's like iHOP with fire
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
