considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
