so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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