im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
