So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
