Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
