dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
