there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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