before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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