I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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