In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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