How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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