On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
