Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
