Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
