we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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