i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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