Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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